Are you insane?

Last month on our way from Washington to Idaho, Ben and I had a fun discussion. I was venting my frustration over the girls' bad behavior and namely, Jillian's terrible nighttime sleep habits at that point. I can't remember how we came upon it, but I think Ben said something to the effect of "Sometimes I think you're insane." And I laughed, but at the same time was a little taken aback. "How?" I asked. He went on to explain that in his reading he had come across an idea from Albert Einstein. "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". In that case, we were talking about how I was putting her to bed in roughly the same fashion each night, and resisting sleep training her while in Washington. So I was doing the same thing over and over, and expecting her to magically decide to sleep through the night. Which she didn't, of course. It turns out that both girls were really overtired and needed to get back to going to bed by 7:30 pm, which wasn't happening out in Washington. Now they're both doing fine as far as sleep, except for the 5 am wake-up call I keep getting from Jill and need to terminate.

This discussion has kept me thinking, though. What else do I do that Einstein considers insane? If you really think about it, logically, it's unreasonable to expect a different result from the same activity. You make a PB & J sandwich, but expect it to taste like tuna. It's impossible. It's like the person expecting to lose weight without making any lifestyle changes. Or like myself, who knows that I need 8 hours of sleep to feel rested, but still go to bed at midnight on a regular basis when my kids are up at 7:30 am. Habits are a hard thing to break!

Sometimes I think I'm really going to be insane in this adventure called motherhood. At the same time, I think being a parent requires a small amount of insanity. Or as Janet Long said, "Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy." Why else would I keep on raising my kids with a happy face and want to add more kids in the future? Because I love it, even with the moments where I can't believe what is happening. Like two hours ago, when Jilly had finally finished smearing the entire upper half of her body with strawberry yogurt while I was starting dinner, and then reached into her diaper, pulled some poop out (which I did not know was there) and held it out for me to see saying, "Mommy! Poop! Out!" Which I followed with, "Ewww! Gross, gross, gross! Do not put your hand down your diaper! That's disgusting!" She didn't seem to understand that idea, which is why that's not the first time this has happened. Or the time last week when she pulled the soaker pad from the tray of fresh chicken meat I had just bought out of the trash and began to bite and suck on it. I prayed for 4 nights after that she wouldn't get salmonella poisoning. And any time on the phone these days is an adventure, unless I lock myself in a room, because both girls come up to me, pull on me or sit on me shreiking, "Mommy! Who is it? Is it Ganma? Is it Daddy? I wanna say hi! I wanna say hi!" All of this repeated at least 6 times of course. Yesterday I was trying to read and Evelyn sensed my attention was not on her, and proceeded to be completely irritating, bothering Jilly at every moment, sitting on her, pushing her over, and then waiting for my expression as Jilly screamed and squealed. At this very moment, both girls are whining with Evelyn sitting on the computer desk figuring out what to scribble on next, and Jilly bringing in every spare blanket and stuffed animal into the office to make a gigantic sleeping pile.

There are a lot of sweet moments too, and they are what make this all worthwhile. Even now, I can read most of this and laugh. Good thing too, there's a lot of it to come in the future.
And this picture has nothing to do with anything, other than it makes me laugh. What else are crazy aunts for?