Local Illness Meeting

I know things don't operate this way, but sometimes it sure feels like it.

"We call to order the meeting of the local chapter of Viruses, Bacteria, and other Annoying Bugs. Are all present?"
"Yes."
"We will now recite our creed. We believe it is our duty and right to spread ill-health, impatience, temper tantrums, and ruined vacations among all those we come in contact with. This is our joy and satisfaction."
"Now down to business. Who do we have on our agenda first, Rhinovirus?"
"The Cluffs. They've been illness-free since May, and I think they're up for another round."
"What do you propose we should do about it?"
"Well, they haven't had to make any actual trip to the doctor over being sick for 10 months, so whatever we give them needs to be semi-serious. Not just a little cold. And their toddlers are both sleeping so well, I think we need to disrupt that a bit. And this is the best part. The Dad's vacation time is coming up, 10 days or so of him not being at school, and they have some fun day trips planned. We could throw a couple wrenches in those plans."
"Alright, sounds like they're ready for some good illness. What specific illnesses should we have them catch? Any ideas Rotavirus?"
"They spend time at the park a few days each week, and we know there are all sorts of germs on the playground. The one they frequent has had visitors with Pinkeye, and a cold virus that causes tonsilitis. There are also the regular diarrhea bugs that little kids catch so easily. It really won't be a problem getting the kids infected. And the Pinkeye will ensure at least one trip to the doctor. "
"Thanks for doing your homework on this case. Now all we need to do is make sure the bugs we've talked about are out and about. We need to attack the grocery carts at the stores they frequent, the playground, and even hit up the nursery at church. Then there's no way they can avoid being sick. Delegate that job to your subordinates. Whose next on the list?"

We had to catch everything at once. Evelyn has pinkeye in both eyes, fever and an ear infection, Jilly had tonsillitis last week and an intestinal bug this week, which Ben and I are battling to a lesser extent, and I've got a sore throat and cold coming on. This was Ben's one week off between semesters, and we planned stuff and then had to shift our plans to the weekend because of us all being sick. Barring more illness, we should make it to the Zoo and to a reservoir in the mountains. Stay away from my house until I give the all clear, for those of you who live close by.
This was us Sunday afternoon after being up until 2 am with crying kids. And I had to talk in church that morning about motherhood of all things. An ironic situation if you ask me.