After re-telling this story to my sister the other night, I figured it was worth typing up because I found it so hilarious after-the-fact. One important fact to note: I am super-cranky when I first wake up from any sleep lasting longer than 40 minutes. I need 10 minutes to lay there and come to my senses before dealing with problems. Otherwise, you're getting the beastly side of me. Ben and the kids don't prefer this side.
We received a microwave for our wedding, a pretty nice one in fact. And while Ben thinks it takes up too much counter space, I guess I am a little attached to it and the fact that it still runs fine keeps me holding onto it. The only flaw it has is the broken LED screen which fried sometime during our first move, and has rarely worked since. Hence, you really have to pay attention to the buttons you're pushing.
Recently, Jilly has learned to make her favorite snack, chocolate chip peanut butter burritos. It's a flour tortilla, with peanut butter spread on one side and sprinkled with chocolate chips. Heat it in the microwave for 16 seconds, roll it up, and it's yummy, warm, gooey goodness.
A few days ago I was on the couch dozing just after lunch and the kids exclaim they're all hungry despite having just eaten. So Jilly offered to make herself and Gordon a burrito, which she did in fine fashion, no messes or mishaps. Evelyn wanted to get in on this (while I am mostly asleep), and then this conversation unfolds:
Mom!
Me, groggy: What?
My tortilla is stuck to the paper towel in the microwave! (Does anyone else keep a paper towel on their microwave plate?)
Me, trying to wake up to properly deal with this problem. Well, just peel it off.
No! Then the paper towel will stick to the tortilla and I'll eat it!
Me, thinking why in the world is it stuck, it never gets stuck. Maybe you didn't heat it enough, put it on for ten more seconds. 10 more seconds.
Mom, it's still stuck! Me, getting annoyed at this point. I go to the microwave and find burned, solid chocolate chips sitting atop bubbled, dried out peanut butter, atop a large tortilla-like cracker.
Uh, how long did you cook this for?
Well, Jilly said sixty seconds so I pushed one, six, zero.
Um, Ev, it's sixteen seconds. Not sixty. You cooked yours for 2 minutes.
Oohh. Sheepish smile.
Make another one, and push one, six, and then 'start.' Okay? I go back to the couch to finish lazily dozing. Probably 5 minutes later:
Mom, what do I push?
One, six, then start.
I'm scared to Mom!
What? Why?
Because if I push the start button, it says 'minute plus' and that means it will add minutes and I don't know how long to count!
Me, totally confused and grouchy: What in the world Evelyn? You've run the microwave before, what's the deal?
I don't trust the microwave! (She begins entering Evelyn panic mode)
Okay, if you're worried about time being on the clock, just push clear a few times and it will reset everything.
I don't know what a few is!!
Beastly exhale from me: Push it two times! Then push one, six, and start!
But mom, I can't push start because it will add minutes!!
No it won't! Don't you trust that I know how to run the microwave?
Noo!!!
If you want your burrito, push the right buttons!!
I can't!!!!
Now really frustrated, I go back to the kitchen and try to help her gain trust in my microwave skills.
Look, I promise, that if you push one, six, and then start, it will not add minutes. Okay?
But how do you know Mom?!!
Ugh. I push them for her. She watches her burrito spin.
More panicking: Mom! No! No! No! The tortilla is blowing up! It's blowing up!!!
Evelyn! It's okay! It does that! The timer's almost done!
No!! The other one did that and then it turned all burned and hard and yucky!!!
Beeeeeep. Out comes warm, gooey goodness.
Oh. Sheepish smile. Thanks Mom.
Oh, the morals of this story. I pick "I should not nap in the afternoon."
3 comments:
Sounds like a yummy treat! Not so much when you are trying to rest though. Glad they've cracked the code on your microwave. Maybe make them count and stop it when they get to the magic number too?
It's just as funny this time as it was on the phone the other night. Crying because I'm laughing so hard. I told Tyler this story after I got off the phone and he said, "wow, that kind of sounds like you, too." :)
Hahaha, sounds like my life EXACTLY!!!
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